Trust In The Lord
Most singles have a five-point checklist when they are dating to find their soul mate. They look for a person who has a…
- Good looking face and body (someone who is handsome/pretty and good shape/sexy)
- Good personality (someone who is funny and fun to be with)
- Good job (someone who is financially secure)
- Good heart (someone who is a kind, loving person)
- Good playlist (someone who likes to do what they like to do)
Now, this isn’t a bad checklist. (It would be stupid to marry an ugly, boring, poor, rude person that doesn’t like to do anything you like to do!) But, let’s be honest, the five-point checklist is too simple. Marriage is a complex relationship so it deserves a complex checklist. Singles who are dating to find their soul mate need to have a long checklist so they can thoroughly analyze the people there are dating. With that said, let me give you…
Ten keywords to use when developing your soul mate checklist:
1. Growing – The word growing means develop to maturity. The ultimate goal behind growing a plant is to produce a beautiful flower or a delicious fruit or vegetable to enjoy. When you’re dating to find your soul mate, you need to ask “Is this person becoming wiser, emotionally stronger, and more spiritual?”
2. Honest – The word honest means to live by the truth. Honest people honestly evaluate their life to see what needs changing, then they take the appropriate steps to make the changes they need to. When you’re dating to find your soul mate, you need to ask “Is this person thinking, speaking, and acting honestly?”
3. Peacemaker – The word peacemaker means someone who strives to resolve relationship problems. When you are dating to find your soul mate, you need to ask, “Is this person resolving problems, or are they ignoring the relationship issues?”
4. Forgiving – The word forgiveness means “to release from the penalty of the crime.” When you’re dating to find your soul mate, you need to ask “Does this person release me when I ask them for forgiveness, or do they hold a grudge?”
5. Submissive – Most people believe a submissive person is weak, but in reality, submissive people are the strongest people on earth. Submissive people forsake some of their needs and desires to serve others. When you’re dating to find your soul mate, you need to ask, “Is this person submissive or are they selfish?”
6. Thrifty – The word thrifty does not mean cheap; it means “a person who uses money and other resources carefully and not wastefully.” When you’re dating to find your soul mate, you need to ask “Does this person spend money wisely?”
7. Virtuous – The word virtuous means “to have high moral standards.” A virtuous person is someone who tries to keep their mind and body pure from immoral thoughts and actions so they can be a good husband or wife. When you are dating to find your soul mate, you need to ask “Does this person have godly morals?”
8. Parental – Because marriage involves sex, and sex can produce children, you need to make sure the person you are entering marriage with is ready to be a parent. So, when you’re dating to find your soul mate, you need to ask “Is this person ready and able to give love and direction to children?”
9. Prioritize – Everyone prioritizes, but few people prioritize the majority of their time, energy, and money on the most important. So, when you’re dating to find your soul mate, you need to ask, “Does this person prioritize their time, energy, and money on the people, places, things, and activities that matter the most?
10. Committed – Obviously, commitment is very important in marriage. So, when you’re dating to find your soul mate you need to ask, “Has this person demonstrated commitment in their other important relationships?”
I encourage you to write some sub-questions underneath each of these ten keywords to help you evaluate the people you date. For instance, you might ask, “Does the person have a good (healthy) self-image?” when you are questioning the person’s honesty. Or, you might ask “Does the person know how to lead others?” when you examine if they are submissive. Of course, you will have to determine the right and wrong answers to each of these questions before you will be able to evaluate the person you’re dating because you cannot ask if a person is spending wisely or if they would make a good parent if you do not know what it means to spend wisely or be a good parent.
If you are dating to find your soul mate, you need to take the time to evaluate the character of the people you’re dating. Don’t allow a dating relationship to get serious until you know the person inside out. Remind yourself that having a tall, dark, and handsome husband is only great if he is committed to you and your marriage. Or, having a husband who has a good job and makes lots of money is only great if he manages his time and money wisely. Don’t allow yourself to fall in love with a spiritually immature man or woman who is selfish and self-centered. Only give your life to someone who is allowing God to direct their life. Look for a man or woman that is trusting in the Lord!
“Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you… Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act…” Psalm 37:3–7 NLT
If you’re considering marriage, or you want to know how to greatly improve your marriage, I encourage you to purchase my book: The 10 Habits of Magnificent Marriages. It is available through Amazon.