Cohabitation vs. Marriage
According to the U.S. Census Bureau – November 15, 2018, some young adults (18-30) are choosing to live together over marriage. Some reports say as many as two-thirds of singles in a serious relationship are choosing to live together outside of marriage. Cohabitation before or instead of marriage is becoming the new norm in America. In my research, I have determined there are five primary reasons some young adults are choosing cohabitation over marriage.
The five reasons singles are choosing cohabitation over marriage are:
1. Cohabitation is easier than marriage.
In cohabitation, a couple agrees to share an apartment and split the rent, groceries and household chores until one or both of them opt out of the relationship or the couple chooses to get married. Cohabitation does not require a couple to be totally committed to each other or their relationship.
2. Cohabitation is cheaper than marriage.
Many singles in their twenties and early thirties do not have enough money to get married because they have to build their career and pay off their college loans and credit card debt. Cohabitation does not require as much money as marriage.
3. Cohabitation allows a single to remain single.
Many singles choose cohabitation over marriage because they want to hold onto their single identity and lifestyle. They want to live with their lover without giving up all of their personal time, space, and money and possessions. Cohabitation does not require losing one’s singleness.
4. Cohabitation removes the risk of divorce.
Sadly, a lot of singles today have a negative view of marriage because they watched their parents fight at home and then in divorce court. There is no risk of going through a nasty divorce or painful property split in a short-term cohabitation.
5. Cohabitation is the best way to determine if your lover is your soul mate.
Many singles want to make sure the shoe fits before they dive into marriage with their lover. Many singles (especially young women) are using cohabitation to test their romantic relationship to see if it is what they want.
At first glance, these five reasons singles are choosing cohabitation over marriage sound good and reasonable, but that is only at first glance. The truth is, the reason a cohabitation relationship is easier, cheaper, and safer than a marriage relationship is living with a lover is not as great as being married to the person you love!
Well, if you’re single, I want to share with you five reasons you should choose marriage over cohabitation:
1st – Marriage makes our lives better.
Marriage is not just a civil union between two people; it is a sacred institution created by God to bring more happiness and fulfillment into our lives. Genesis Chapter Two tells us Adam was sad when he realized he did not have a female human being on the earth to enjoy life with.
So the LORD God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to Adam to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the LORD God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’ This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Genesis 2:19-24 NLT
God created marriage to make our lives better. Marriage helps with loneliness, adds wisdom to our lives, and makes us more giving people! In marriage, you and your mate help each other grow intellectually, emotionally, physically, socially, and spiritually. God created marriage to make our lives better!
2nd – Marriage is the best place to raise children.
Decades of research show that children who are raised by their married, biological parents tend to be healthier, smarter, and happier than children who are not raised within marriage. Why? Because married couples tend to have more resources (time, energy, and money), run their household more effectively and efficiently, and have a larger social network to rely on for support when things get tough.
3rd – Sex is more meaningful in marriage.
Both the Bible and current research show that married couples have better sex than singles. Why, because singles have all kinds of fears when they engage in sex (STD’s, pregnancy, intimacy, etc.). Married couples don’t have to “perform” during sex. They have fun and express their love and commitment to each other. Sex is important for married couples, but it is not what their relationship is built on. I wonder how many cohabitating singles can honestly make that statement?
4th – Marriage is more meaningful cohabitation.
Is there love and commitment in cohabitation? Sure, but there is a ton more love and commitment in marriage! In cohabitation, you hope things work out; in marriage, you make things work out because you want your wife and kids to experience the best life possible!
5th – Marriage last longer than cohabitation.
One of the ways we value things here on earth is by durability. We value things that last a long time. Well, marriages last a lot longer than cohabitations.
If you’re considering marriage, or you want to know how to greatly improve your marriage, I encourage you to purchase my book: The 10 Habits of Magnificent Marriages. It is available through Amazon.